#AskTheTweeps: What’s up with that low birth rate in Singapore?

By On August 15, 2012 · 16 Comments · In #AskTheTweeps, Community, Just For Fun, Singapore

Former Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew’s latest statement has been a(nother) stern one: have babies or “fold up”, get swamped by foreigners and new citizens. And now everyone’s talking about Singapore’s low fertility rate. A few of us have noticed that a lot of them are men, which made me think that it may be nice to have women share their thoughts – whether they have children or not.

That’s not to say that you’re not allowed here if you’re a man; anyone is welcome to share their opinions here but it would be nice if it wasn’t along the lines of “how can husbands influence their wives to make babies“.

So once again I’m trying out this Storify/discussion thing. If you have a comment or a question to add on this issue, either leave a comment at the bottom of this post, or tweet me at @kixes!


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  • Pingback: Kirsten Han (@kixes)

  • http://kirstenhan.me/ kixes

    I’m 24 this year, Chinese, highly-educated and from a middle class family. Prime breeding material from the government’s POV, I’m sure. I don’t have a boyfriend at the moment – I’m okay with that. I don’t feel the need to get married any time soon, and I DEFINITELY don’t feel the need to have babies soon. I don’t see why that is anyone else’s business other than my own.Women are more than capable of making up their own minds on whether they want children or not, and their decisions should be respected rather than having men try to find ways to exercise “influence” or “persuasion” to turn their women into baby-making machines. It’s fine for couples to talk about whether they want children, but ultimately it’s up to whether the woman really wants to have kids or not, and for her to evaluate. We cannot be talking about the birth rate without including the voices of women and respecting their choices.There is nothing wrong with a woman choosing not to have kids. It doesn’t make her self-centred or selfish or disloyal to the country (as if we as women OWE Singapore babies!) It’s her choice, leave her alone. If we really wanted to raise the birth rate we would be better off relooking the system in place rather than trying to “persuade” women.

  • http://kirstenhan.me/ kixes

    twostoreys : I find that the older I get (i.e. the closer to an age where I actually feel like I’m old enough to be responsible for another living being) the more I’m leaning towards adoption too. I don’t think a baby needs to pop out of me for me to love it and care for it, and there are so many children out there in need of a good home. 

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  • http://kirstenhan.me/ kixes

    MizHalle jerricklim fishyjelly : Flexi-time is definitely something we should look into more. Sometimes I feel like Singaporeans work long long hours just to be seen to work long long hours because we want to look like the really hard-working ones and make a good impression, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re working smart or being more productive! If any mindset needs changing, this is the mindset we need to work on, rather than that of making women want babies.

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  • CharityGoh

    So, I’ve always loved the idea of having children, having a family unit that I have a say in. I’ve always said that it is a personal goal of mine to produce and bring up “non-f*cked up kids”. But to be completely honest, I wouldn’t want children here in Singapore. The education system scares me shitless, why would I want to subject my poor unborn offspring to such a long drawn out torture programme? I look at the way fellow Singaporeans treat people from other countries and races, these people who take on jobs that are “beneath” us. They pave our roads, construct our buildings and homes, sweep our streets and clean our mess. In other countries, these people receive respect. Sure, it isn’t the most glamorous of jobs but they’re still proud of the honest hardworking life that they lead. I don’t want to bring my child up in a stifling, heartless, judgmental and materialistic society that can’t even see the value of another human being who happens to be in a less fortunate situation. I don’t have to tell you about living costs in Singapore, we are all well aware. I don’t work in an office with an unsympathetic boss and I certainly don’t have to stay back in the office to pass off as “hardworking enough”. You see, I do want kids. But I can easily see why so many Singaporean women don’t and perhaps it is not us who are in need of a “change of mindset”, it is society and the government who need to rethink things. Plus, guys, even I don’t presume to say I understand how difficult pregnancy is (yet). Please do us a favour and realize that it not a decision to be taken lightly and certainly not one that you can change our minds on with your confidence and masculinity. Ivan, very very well dumb, sir.

  • CindyNg

    Having babies is a personal choice between a couple. Although it is a personal choice that is highly influenced by social factors. Research has been clear about what children need to thrive well (plenty of time with main caregivers, good socioemotional and psychological well being, basic needs met etc). So the question is, do we as a country has what it takes to raise children in a healthy environment? This society demands that women work so that they can contribute
    economically (one wonders about the economic value a housewife brings),
    and yet, be the main caregivers for the little ones. Main caregivers are typically parents (grandparents, maids, childcare teachers are hardly the people you, or research, expects to be the main adults who would be morally committed to the children) no matter how we try to argue around. so in a context where we are so unforgiving towards mothers who prefer to stay home with their kids (so are they less valuable as individuals just because they are not employed?) or mothers who prefer some flexi hours to be able to accord attention and time to children. In the same way, we are unforgiving towards men who prefer to do that for their children. In such an environment, where everyone is a digit instead of worthy individuals, do you really blame people for not wanting to have children?

  • CindyNg

     Having babies is a personal choice
    between a couple. Although it is a personal choice that is highly
    influenced by social factors. Research has been clear about what
    children need to thrive well (plenty of time with main caregivers, good
    socioemotional and psychological well being, basic needs met etc). So
    the question is, do we as a country has what it takes to raise children
    in a healthy environment? This society
    demands that women work so
    that they can contribute
    economically (one wonders about the economic value a housewife brings),
    and yet, be the main caregivers for the little ones. Main caregivers are
    typically parents (grandparents, maids, childcare teachers are hardly
    the people you, or research, expects to be the main adults who would be
    morally committed to the children) no matter how we try to argue around.
    Our culture is one where we are so unforgiving towards mothers who
    prefer
    to stay home with their kids (so are they less valuable as individuals
    just because they are not employed?) or mothers who prefer some flexi
    hours to be able to accord attention and time to children. In the same
    way, we are unforgiving towards men who prefer to do that for their
    children. In such an environment, where everyone is a digit instead of
    worthy individuals, do you really blame people for not wanting to have
    children?

  • http://kirstenhan.me/ kixes

    CindyNg Yes, agreed! We need to relook our system and to get rid of many of the assumptions we as a society like to make: that women should be the main caregivers, that fathers are meant to be breadwinners and therefore don’t need to play as much of a role in caring for babies, that stay-at-home mothers are somehow further down the totem pole than high-achieving career women, etc. 

  • nicoleee

    i myself am a female, well maybe i m not old enough to understand or something, the below is just a girl’s opinion on the above mentioned topic, so please don’t hate me for any of this. i personally feel that yes the birth of a child is a highly personal choice, but i would also like to point out that this choice should not be made by the mother alone, the father plays an equally important role in the child’s life, as i can see from my own life, honestly i do not feel that either of my parents are putting in more effort than the other, but the problem here is this the government’s job is to identify NATIONAL issues and problems and try their level best to solve it, i myself would not actually consider being a mother until i am extremely sure that i am able to provide the best in terms of education and life experiences meaning, exposure to the world, a nice well furnished home and proper assistance in education as well as a professional care. the above means that i would want a stable job and income as well as a stable long lasting relationship. but i think that the government finding various means and ways to encourage singaporeans to reproduce is perfectly fine, but the thing is if we do not want to have children we are in absolutely no position to complain about foreigners fighting with us for jobs and benefits, every other day i read about singaporeans who are unhappy about the influx of foreigners here, the thing is yes, they can sustain our economy but are we willing to let the singapore spirit just die off like that, being a student myself, i fully understand the pain of the education system and yet as we think about developing our children as individuals i believe that parents would have to take responsibility, after all we create singapore’s society, the standards of today’s society is set by us not the government. my stand today is extremely simple. no one should be forced to have babies, but if as a society we do not see this need or do not regard this cycle of reproduction as necessary it is ok but you have to understand that you would be in no right to complain about foreigners snatching what we deem as ours. if they are going to take on this responsibility that belongs to us for us they are rightfully entitled to our benefits as well.we also have to understand that we are a human, a part of a family, but above all this we are part of a society, a nation. if there is anything i do not understand please leave a comment, i would like to understand this issue thks :)

  • Lumoslim

    i actually thought it was funny that Ivan wrote that the men need to persuade the women to have children. before i was married, i wanted 3 kids while my then boyfriend, now husband, wanted none. then we got married and i decided i didnt want any cos i just didnt want the responsibility of taking care of another human being. i had enough taking care of my 2 younger brothers (they are 8 and 11 years younger than me) and felt that married life without kids was wonderful. i’m 32 this year and am surrounded by friends having kids left, right and centre. there is definitely pressure to have kids and i do wonder sometimes if we are strange since we don’t want any. but if we have had kids, we wouldn’t have taken a year of work to travel and now move to thailand to start a new career. kids hold you back from doing these things i feel and right now, in our lives, no children is the best option.my husband and i are both uni grads and chinese, which is probably the exact demographic profile that should go forth and bear children

  • http://kirstenhan.me/ kixes

    Lumoslim In this day and age there are so many options out there and so many things to explore, and oftentimes having children does stop you from going out there and trying a whole bunch of new things. There are just more choices now, and if there are more choices it only makes sense that people want to try them. And why not?

  • http://kirstenhan.me/ kixes

    nicoleee Husbands definitely do deserve a say in whether a couple should have kids or not, but ultimately the decision to take that step, get pregnant and have a child should be with the woman, because she is the one who has to accept the dramatic changes in her body (and from crystalgeek78′s experience that she shared above, it’s very often NOT fun and games and could even be very serious or dangerous), and when the baby is born the system is currently structured in a way where the mother has to taken on the bulk of the work (for example, paternity leave is pathetic compared to maternity leave, which makes the assumption that the woman should assume the lion’s share of the work in taking care of a baby). Even though we can’t get rid of all the pregnancy woes of women, if we could somehow open up the system so that each couple can have a choice of how they want things to work when the baby is born – whether it’s the father staying home or the mother staying home, or flexi-work, etc. – then I think more women would be more open to considering having a child, because they know that there’ll be support and help, and not a social expectation for them to take on all this work. Of course, we then also have to factor in finances as another consideration, but if we could start looking at ways to fix the system then we an start to find ways for people to cut back on unnecessarily long hours at work, or to reduce the stress and demands of life in this city-state.As for the complaints about foreigners snatching jobs, we need to look carefully at the situation as well. Why are some employers preferring to hire foreigners rather than Singaporeans? Is it really because of the work ethic, job experience and specialised skills? Or is it because foreigners can undercut Singaporeans by working for cheaper? Or – even worse – is it because foreigners are so easy to exploit? (The last one is especially true for when it comes to blue collar low-wage jobs.) I don’t really think there’s much excuse for xenophobia, whether or not people have babies. If they are angry at the government policy then they should bring it up with the government, but never take it out on the people who are just trying to improve their lives.

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